Monday, May 02, 2005

Bad Cover Version

The Times reports on the Magazine Publishers of America's $40 million campaign to convince advertisers that print is not a dying medium. The ads feature mocked-up covers from magazines as they'll look 100 years in the future -- "California Island: More popular than ever 62 years after the Big Quake," reads Newsweek's, while Time asks the big question "Android Rights: Is Owning One Unconstitutional?" (However, there's no U.S. News and World Report cover boasting "A Century Later and We're Still a Distant Third!") All clever enough, we suppose. But somebody sure got lazy on the faux SI cover ("Hell Freezes Over! Cubs Win 2105 World Series"). Are we to believe that baseball fans of 2105 -- just seven years shy of the dystopian future predicted by Rush -- will look exactly as they do today? For God's sake, at least Photoshop some silly metal hats with lights and antennas onto a couple of those Cubs fans. And while you're at it, give 'em some of those personal jetpacks and steaks in pill form we were all supposed to have had like five years ago already.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

15 Minutes in Heaven With Graydon Carter

Attention glossy-eyed "junior staffer types"! Ed2010 is raffling off a chance to meet with Vanity Fair EIC Graydon Carter for a whole 15 minutes! You have until Tuesday at 5 p.m. (Eastern, presumably) to purchase a $4 ticket for this chance to infiltrate the inner sanctum of 4 Times Square. Now, if you win this publishing Powerball, you can spend your quarter hour groveling for a job or pitching Graydon yet another murdered-heiress story. But if we're triumphant, we plan to use that time to lecture Mr. Carter on the importance of journalistic ethics, digressing but briefly to hail the wisdom of Mayor Bloomberg's smoking ban. And all the while, of course, we'll be sporting our fabulous "Young, Dumb and Full of Come" t-shirt.

Gut Check Time

In a Q&A at The Black Table, former Stuff EIC Greg Gutfield, who now edits Maxim's UK edition, proves once again he's a lowbrow philosopher king. Our favorite bit: "Perhaps soon The National Magazine Awards will recognize bestiality as important enough a topic to create a category for it. Then Tom Junod will write 10,000 words on it." (Via FishbowlNY)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Men's Journal Readers, Lock Up Your Girlfriends

In a MediaBistro profile, Men's Journal EIC Michael Caruso explains that MJ is responding to a "crisis in masculinity." (Clearly he hasn't heard the news that Men's Vogue is on the way to address just that situation.) The article gets really good when the writer speaks to Men's Health EIC David Zinczenko about MJ:
"Men's Journal started out as a magazine that was chasing Outside," says Zinczenko. "Then it redirected to become an Esquire clone. Then it went after Men's Health. Then it went after the lad magazines. And now it's trying to be BestLife. The only thing authentic about Men's Journal is the slightly rank smell of desperation." ...

"When it comes to quality and strength in numbers, our readers can steal their readers' girlfriends every time," snipes Zinczenko.
Me-oww! At this point, Zinczenko marches over to Caruso's table at Michael's and kicks sand in his face. "Crisis in masculinity" averted.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The Domino Defect

Domino is finally here! But before you start mindlessly redecorating your pad with the shiny and alluring products contained in its pages, we suggest you read Stephanie Zacharek's Salon piece on the Condé Nast pub and its magalog brethren: "Throwing hundreds of pictures at us in a crazily cluttered format, as the shopping magazines do, doesn't begin to explain why inanimate objects speak to us." We don't know about you, but when inanimate objects start speaking to us it's usually pretty easy to pinpoint the cause. By the way, we're still waiting for word from Cargo on our "Cruising for Hookahs" feature pitch.

Meanwhile, if you're a man of substance who thinks shopping is one big waste of time, Condé Nast is developing a magazine just for you: Men's Vogue.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Another Post, Another Bob Guccione Jr. Reference

When we hear the words "intern" and "Spin," naturally we think of the good ol' days, when Bob Guccione Jr. -- our last mention of him for a while, we promise -- was editor and publisher and the whole wide office was his dating pool. Anyway, the latest story involving the words Spin and intern isn't quite so sordid, but it has inspired the scorn of a number of bitter old journalists.

The flap involves a young woman named Krystal Grow, who writes in the North Adams Transcript about her experience being rejected by Spin for a summer internship. With six whole apparently non-music-related clips to her admittedly very cool name (makes you think of Magic Rocks, no?), she assumes she's a "shoo-in" and starts looking for apartments in the East Village. It all ends in tears worthy of a post-breakup Bright Eyes listening session: "I went home and cried until I passed out, then woke up and cried some more." There's some back-and-forth with the editorial intern coordinator, who reveals "his reasons for rejecting my application were the font I used in my resume and cover letter headings, and that I didn't show a 'passion for Spin magazine.'" We have three words for you, Krystal: Times New Roman. Garamond if you're feeling fancy.

So, is Krystal Grow presumptuous and self-entitled, hopelessly naive or all of the above? We report, you decide, here in The No Spin (Internship) Zone. (Via Romenesko)

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Bullet Time: Men Behaving Badly Edition

  • It's Sly vs. Sly! American Media, the publishers of Sylvester Stallone's new vanity magazine Sly, have been hit by a $1 million trademark-infringement lawsuit brought by the publisher of a women's pub of the same name. Stallone better start dreaming up some new titles. May we suggest Rocky Start?
  • Esquire has managed to piss off the feds by running ads for an offshore company's online casino, the NY Post reports. Dubious Achievement Awards writers, you might want to print out the Post story for your clip file.
  • Playboy will offer pics of ladies -- both nekkid and not -- that are specially formatted for viewing on the PlayStation Portable. Suspiciously, no word yet on the availability of the articles.

How To Make Out With a Liberal (If You Must)

We finally bothered to read the Time magazine cover story on Ann Coulter that we wrote about a couple of days ago and discovered this amazing coincidence:
"When I first met her," says a fellow conservative, "[Coulter] was walking around with a black miniskirt and a mink stole, making out with Bob Guccione Jr. in the stairwell." (Coulter dated publisher Guccione, son of the porn mogul, for six months. She says the stairwell story "could be" true, although "I make out in public less often now that I'm publicly recognizable.")
So clearly our last two posts were far from the first time that Bob Guccione Jr. was on top of Ann Coulter.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Growing Up Goochy: The Reunion Episode

The heart-warming media story of the week, so far: Former Penthouse editor Bob Guccione Sr. and former Gear editor Bob Guccione Jr. have ended their feud! The reconciliation is all thanks to the elder Gooch's insanely chesty fiancée April Warren. And how will the father-son team catch up on the 17 years they've lost? By reviving Sr.'s science magazine Omni and then, if history is any guide, running it into the ground. (Link via MediaBistro)

Between this development and the recent news that former Screw owner Al Goldstein is getting back into the porno biz it's been a grand couple of weeks for disgraced smut peddlers. Happy endings for everyone!

Two Right Feet

Fiery conservative Ann Coulter is upset at Time magazine for using as its cover image a pic of her -- taken through a fish-eye lens -- that makes her legs look freakishly long and skinny. Hey, Ann, just remember the old maxim "You can never be too pro-rich or too thin." And just be thankful the liberal media didn't mistakenly brand you a former Leg Show model.